Reflections

 Grace Dao  is a second year medical student at Dalhousie University.

 

 


From the beginning of medical school, we are taught about balance --the balance between each individual’s autonomy and the public well-being, the balance between focusing on the present and always being asked to plan for the future, and the balance between investing our time and energy into becoming skilled practitioners and the famously important, ever elusive “work-life balance”. Yet despite the mentioned importance, each lesson often ends with the thought that “well, you just have to find the balance…”. ...continue reading

Beatrice Preti is an R2 in internal medicine at the Queen's University.

 

 


There were things I meant, but didn’t say
As I heard your heartbeat fade away
My stethoscope was on your chest
When you drifted off to eternal rest
I’d spent the whole night by your side
There was nothing left we hadn’t tried
But the drugs and tubes and shocks and lines
Bought you little extra time
Your path was clear right from the start
I had no cure for your sick heart
Yet you asked me to try, so I did my best
But, despite our efforts, things progressed
When the new dawn broke, your life did, too,
You never heard what I said to you
How I begged forgiveness, my quiet prayers,
You stared straight ahead, as if I weren’t there
Close to the end, you’d opened your eyes
Looked up with desperation, as if the skies
Would rain down mercy for your plight
But no salvation came on that fateful night

This was never our initial plan
We’d all seemed to understand
That you were dying and wanted peace
A soft and gentle, graceful release
But as your time was drawing near
You changed your mind. That much was clear.
You told me you were afraid to die
I said I’d help, but that was a lie
I didn’t share my other thoughts
That tied my stomach and heart in knots
I knew then that it was too late
Yet I donned my gloves, and fought with fate
I wrote the orders, increased the dose,
Pulled up a chair so I could be close
You had no family to stand by your side
Your rocky end was a solo ride
As the night grew thin, your breaths grew shallow
Your once-ruddy face turned blank and sallow
I never said I was sorry to you
By the time I could say it, the end was through
The dawn broke cruelly on the brand-new day
And all the things I meant, but didn’t say

Kacper Niburski is a medical student in the Class of 2021 at McGill University. He is also the CMAJ student humanities blog editor. Follow his writing : .

 


 

as if you’ve already known

that it must be i

quiet i looking i

holding the heavy love

for us both

 

these giant holes of light

these hands wrecked with the small

and the insects that sit on bony branches

like lesser gods dissolving in the leaves

that too know

how to pray

or kill a man

 

my brother is tickling my feet

my sister is wanting to wrestle us both

air laughs between then and then in the sweet pardon

of excuse me child

have you heard what rumi said

about this

let the beauty we love be what we do

 

are you done

is this night

where i dream in the slop of your inhale

with persian on my tongue

the split fruit of books on the carpet

where i am trying to swear more often

because of that damned poet reminding

each day is a tinier day

each body is becoming less of a body

by being with others

 

on a ripped page is an entire life

in a word there the worried universe

 

the scalps understand

the scallops even more so

you lick your fingers with childhood

meat full of meat

like my grandmother who taught her

earth brown cat

a persian i think

to tickle

to hold

to love the unknown

universally

 is an Internal Medicine Resident (R1) at the University of Toronto. Check back the last Thursday of each month for a new featured piece as part of his series (Doc Talks: Reflections to Reality)!

 


 

Sometimes

time tests our resilience.

 

We struggle with the urge to

no longer put ourselves second,

when every other second

is spent putting others first.

 

But we are reminded –

...continue reading

1 Comment

is the Business Manager for the Heart and Vascular Program at Unity Health Toronto – St. Michael's Hospital

 

Healthcare is a varied and multidisciplinary world. From clinical medicine to social work to data collection, expertise from many diverse specialties is required to ensure that hospitals run successfully and that patients receive the very best care.

The value of a collaborative environment in healthcare is ...continue reading

 Shez Kassam is a medical student in the class of 2019 at the university of Alberta

 

 


Across, eye to eye

Armchair, arm’s length

 

The heart suffers—pathologic

No monitors or stethoscope to be seen

...continue reading

Simraaj Kaur Powar is a Family Medicine Resident at Western University Windsor Campus

Sukhbinderjit (Nikki) Powar is a Family Doctor in Mississauga

 

 

The concept of addiction,

Is it science-fact or fiction?

Sex, drugs, or alcohol,

Get involved, and you’ll lose it all.

 

Face the reality; time to confide and confess.

To get it off your chest or cause you more distress? ...continue reading

Cal Robinson is a PGY2 Pediatrics resident at McMaster University interested in how social determinants of health impact Canadian children.

 

On November 22nd, 2018, Ontario’s Progressive Conservative government unveiled their of provincial social assistance programs, including changing the definition of disability for the Ontario Disability Support Program (ODSP). These announcements have been met with criticism from political and advocacy groups who argue that these represent further cuts to social assistance. Further policy announcements last year included a reduction of the planned 3% increase in social assistance to 1.5% and cancellation of the Ontario Basic Income Pilot, one of the largest minimum income studies ever developed. The had already enrolled 4,000 low-income individuals across the province. These intended cuts to Ontario’s social assistance programs will have a substantial negative impact on the health of Ontarians, and will particularly threaten the physical, psychological and social wellbeing of Canadian children and their families. ...continue reading

 Sarah Silverberg is an R1 in OBGYN at UBC and an intern at St. Paul's Hospital.

 

 


Please let me take your history.

I know the triage nurse and the emergency physician already asked you many of these same questions. But humor me -- let me ask them too. After all, I was asked to see you by the emergency doctor who saw you. They knew I would ask you these questions, and felt it was necessary. They referred you to me, and like it or not, you’re now under my care.

I am the resident that was asked to see you. You ask me if you could see the real doctor. Unfortunately, I am the real doctor. At least, I am a doctor; one of the country’s medical institutions has granted me an MD. And while I know what you mean – that you don’t want to see the resident, and that you want to skip ahead directly to the attending – at this moment I can’t make that happen. My attending sent me down to see you because I’m the one on consult service. My staff is in the operating room, or managing the ward, or reviewing the three other consults we’ve been asked to see this evening with other residents and students. You’d be waiting a while longer if I didn’t see you.

...continue reading

 Ashleigh Frayne is a Family Medicine (R1) at the University of British Columbia.”

 

 


The pavement darkens as the chill of the night settles

Stretched across the lap of the day, a shadow cat

Moving swiftly down the street, between pools of light

Cast by warm windows, freeing the damp of evening

To reach long fingers down my spine, the sigh of today.

I rub my eyes, crusted with the dread of tomorrow.

...continue reading